The reason I am starting this blog is simple : One People One Nation One Europe. I have been following many blogs regarding this same subject especially in regards to odalism (thulean perspective) which has absolutely put meaning into my whole being. I have been extremely inspired by not only Mr. Vikernes, but many other of the bloggers on this site with the same mindset which encouraged me to start one myself. Not only am I starting this blog to share, encourage, enlighten, to teach and most of all to learn myself as I already have, but also to communicate and to create a sort of fellowship with fellow Europeans. I had been introduced to the cartoon paganism as a teenager and took it quite literal. In doing this I felt like it was the same thing as Judeo-Christianity. Of course not knowing what I know now, I had threw it aside years later even though knowing something was not right or missing so to speak. To make a very long story short I was introduced to black metal. This changed my life. At first the extreme brutality is what attracted me to the scene (being that I was in an extreme identity crisis and needed to be as extreme as possible due to my very confusing upbringing). But than it became again a full circle back to paganism. Black metal to me was a sort of revenge against Christianity waged by those who wanted to avenge their pagan forefathers. But than of course the satanic aspect came into play in which I began to read into and study (unfortunately) Satanism (yes the jewish, laveyan satansim).
After months of reading books by Nietzsche, Lavey, ragnar redbeard and so on, I began to think I was liberated and above the masses!! But again because of the search for an identity, the doctrines of these authors were forced on myself (I just wanted to be something! an -ism of some sort) and I realized how dark, negative and incompatible with my true European spirit these worldviews were. I had always still followed Mr. Vikernes in his new music. But I began to look much deeper and found the thulean perspective blog. THIS is what made me whole.
My upbringing was not the greatest. Having a father who was a drunk and step father who was drunk, my view, my being, was never stable.( my father now deceased because of alcohol and my step father as of this year now making a recovery). Not mention the part of the world I grew up in. Being in the southwestern part of the united states (basically Mexico/Africa), I was subject to racism and being a minority in the neighborhood I grew up in. Niggers were a constant fear and I was absolutely subject to bullying because I was white. Growing up with white guilt, taught to hate my own race, that to be “too white”, was basically looked down upon, as well as factors with my fathers I became distraught with hatred toward myself and even my own people. Even though my father did instill a racial pride in me to some degree, being the minority and of course like most in American society, believed in the garbage jew propaganda of our current world, his sentiments did not suffice. (Not to mention I went to Christian school as a kid all the way up to 6th grade) the fear of hell tormented me often as well. From preteen to teenager I became obsessed with pornography, drugs, and violence. I was a victim of society, I saw no way out. But a glimmer of racial pride was still in me, it stayed with me, and thinking back now even as a child, I noticed the differences between races. Until the age of 18 (in which I was still obsessed with the jewish porno/nigger violence scene) in my heart I felt that I wasn’t right, this world wasn’t right! I moved to the pacific northwest and turned my whole life around. Not needing counseling, drugs, prescription drugs and the like I found my way out with health and fitness. I am 23 now, I consider myself extremely well read as I have dedicated 2 or so years to educating myself in life, philosophy, politics, historical revisionism, European traditions and customs, gardening, combat (maybe 3 or so years), herbalism, nutrition, (also as well as having played guitar since I was 11 and most recently keyboard),mechanics and all in all true self reliance. I can say that I am now myself again. I can honestly say that the thulean perspective saved my life. There is much more to my story but this is not the purpose of this blog. Paganism is inherit in Europeans, its not something new, but it is inside of us, has always been us. It is a return to what we once were, what we are supposed to be. Paganism is the call of our ancestors but the call is a lot closer thank we think, its in our hearts. I will leave with this….
rotting with pleasure, decaying in joy
there is not much to see here, yet I am not blind to this void
in search of a calling, it is silence I hear
if I only could answer, but there is an absence of ears
yet something is hidden, unseen and untapped
but a voice in the distance, I peek into the past
there are many inside of me, who lived once before
there are ways that I once lived, behind the inner door
this voice, it gets louder, it rumbles in my veins
it is those of the old, my people my race
so don’t look outside you will only find doubt
look deep within, and you won’t have to lookout
VOICE OF MY FOREFATHERS